No Hugs, No Kisses, No Goodbye
by Mooseyfate
Summary: Kay/ Antonio One chapter. Two lost souls find each other and fit together.


No Hugs, No Kisses, No Goodbye  
  
One shot fic. Antonio and Kay.  
  
Disclaim.  
I suppose that it's different for men to fall in love then it is for women. Men are never obligated by the consequences of sex. Women can get pregnant and be stranded alone. The pigs that knock them up need never own up to what they did. They can simply go about their self-serving lives, screwing whoever they please and not worry about waking up at 2Am one morning puking your guts out. Then only to find out that the reason you feel so sick all the time isn't a stomach virus like you originally thought, oh no, it's a baby. Do I sound bitter? I don't mean to. It's simply the facts of life. My life in fact.  
  
I suppose that when my cousin came to town and the idiot I was in love with fell for her doey-eyed innocent look I should have backed off. But, I Kay Bennett am nothing if not stubborn. So, I pursed, I brainwashed, I lied, I cheated, I stole, and I cast. Yes, I cast more then a few spells to keep the man that I "loved". The worst spell I cast was one to put my dear sugary sweet cousin on ice, literally. I had her sealed up in a chunk of ice and I had a zombie (actually Succubus) double made of her. That Zombie was the biggest problem I ever had. She was even more evil then me and she tried to seduce Miguel. She stole Charity's essence and planned to sleep with him. Then I made the biggest mistake of all. I stole it. Not my brightest moment since I essentially raped him. Then Charity the great got free and the two of them were closer then ever, they even got engaged. I didn't find out about the pregnancy till their wedding day. Hold it, I know what you're thinking; I planned it to stop the wedding. But, I had actually given up. I wouldn't try anymore. After I ruined their wedding I thought that this child would bring the two of us closer together. Stupid Kay. It only made him realize just how gosh golly darn much he loved his heavenly princess Charity. Puh-Leeze.  
  
So, now I'm standing here at the pier. One of my favorite places, great to think, quiet and no one really bothers me here. And it dawned on me not even ten minutes ago. I don't even love that moron. I simply hated the fact that she stole him from me. I don't like the fact that I never even had a chance with him. If Charity never came to town Miguel and I would have dated. We also would have broken up and stayed friends. Although I don't know why, he's an idiot. So, that makes me an even bigger idiot and a bitchy one too.  
  
A lone tear escapes my eye and my baby kicks. It's not painful, but reassuring. It was the first time I'd ever felt something like that. It feels wonderful. I have a second chance. Not to mess this child's life up, I can make her have a future that really counts. Yes, her. I'm sure that it's going to be a girl. I don't know why, call it woman's intuition. So, here I stand, in my nightgown with a huge winter coat on, in slippers, holding my belly on a deserted pier at 10 O'clock at night.  
  
~*~  
  
I saw her walk up and begin gasping for breath. She didn't see me. She was sobbing and I would have gone and comforted her, but I know how she is. I suppose I can't really explain that. I hardly know her. When we were younger she was my bratty little brother's best friend, but since I've returned she's changed. She's now more like a scared woman, in love with the wrong guy. Somehow I know that that statement's not true anymore. I can see pain on her face as she dawns on the realization that the little twerp doesn't walk on water. I know that pain as I felt it myself moments ago. I can still feel it.  
  
When a man falls in love, it's usually pretty hard. At least that's what I've grown to know. Guys are a lot like females in that sense. When we feel it's strong. That's why it's hard for us to express our feelings sometimes. Same as women, rejection. That's why I closed myself off for so long. When I met Liz I knew that she would never love me the way I wanted her to, so I moved on. I moved on to someone I felt was ready for me to love because she was so lost, like me. She didn't know who she was or where she was going and I wanted to be an anchor for her. Stupid I know. Eventually we did fall for each other, as soon as she got over this man from her past. We returned home, well at the time I thought it was only my home, but that was a wrong assumption. We were going to get married and then I found out I was dying. After that there was always this distances between us. I still loved her fiercely, as I said, when men fall, they fall in hard too. I always had this sense she was keeping something from me. And, just when I figured it out, I was wrong. I hated it, but I married her nonetheless. I regret that day more then anything you can imagine. When I did finally find out the truth, I was in a coma. I don't think you can imagine how that feels. You're in limbo, watching and hearing everything that goes on around you but you can't interfere. It's like TV. I thought that my heart would break, but it didn't hurt me as bad as I imagined. In fact, it was sort of a relief to know that I didn't have to tend after this woman anymore. She was going to be well taken care of and I could move on with my life and find someone to love me and only me.  
  
It took me sometime to come to this realization, but I did have a lot of free time. I was in a coma after all. That was two weeks ago. Since I woke up I asked for no visitors and I sent annulment papers out of the room. I was released today and thankfully, I snuck out before I had to deal with my family. I went back to the cottage. Gone. Fire. My brother chooses some weird women to fall for. So, I came here. The pier. When I was younger this was a great place to come and think. Be free and unbothered. I hear a quiet noise, not distress, but contentment. I look over and I don't believe I've ever seen a more picturesque sight. Kay stands, holding her slightly bulging belly, looking happier then I'd seen her since I returned and I assumed happier then she had been in a long time.  
  
~*~  
  
He approach her and tap her slightly on the shoulder, she wasn't at all surprised. Perhaps his assumption that she hadn't seen him was wrong. It didn't matter; all that did matter was that they were there.  
  
"Feel." She said simply.  
  
He put his hand on her belly and felt the slight movement. Knowing, that he was the first person she'd shared this with made him feel a certain sense of pride, "What do you say we leave?"  
  
She looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a long time. She stared into his eyes, feeling all the pain and hurt he'd ever known and he stared back. Her eyes mirrored the same sadness.  
  
"Why?" Simple, direct, no excuses, just one word.  
  
"We have no reason to stay." He shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"I know." She slumped, "I wish there was a reason. Maybe that would make it easier."  
  
"It's never easy Kay." The use of her name caught her off guard.  
  
"I never said it was Antonio."  
  
"I'm leaving tonight. If you come with me or not, that's up to you. I would like to have some company though. Both of you." He smiled.  
  
"Alright. Give me an hour." She kissed him on the cheek and walked away.  
  
"I knew you would. Meet me here." He walked in the opposite direction. His heart lighter, his thoughts clearer then they ever had been.  
~*~  
  
When their families awoke the next morning to find them both missing, they naturally worried. Sam calmed only slightly when he saw the notes they'd left. Pilar was still in distress when she was called over to the Bennett's. There was a note for each family.  
  
My Family~  
  
I know that my leaving may be harder for some then others, but a necessary choice I feel. I have nothing holding me in Harmony. I love you all very much.  
  
Daddy, you have always been my biggest supporter, no matter what. And, for that I will be eternally grateful. I love you more then you'll ever know. And, who knows? Maybe I'll return one day a grown woman with a family. I already have a pretty good start.  
  
Jess, over the years we've grown further apart. I'd like to think it was because you're a nosey little brat, but I now know better. It's simply my fault for my stupid mistakes. You have always tried to get me to do the right thing and for that I hated you. I know now that it was stupid of me to be angry with you for trying to protect me and the ones you love. It wasn't fair to you and you deserve better. I'm so sorry for all the times I yelled at you, brought you down or hurt you in any way. You are an amazing sister and I love you.  
  
Charity, this is hard for me since you've never actually done anything to me. I've hurt you so many times and you've still stood by me. I slept with the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and that wasn't even the worst of it. I won't go on to tell you the things that I've done to get Miguel and now regret, but if you really want to know ask Jess or Simone. I hope that you live your life happy and don't let something I did affect your feelings toward Miguel. If it's true love, forget about the baby or me, do whatever you have to do to make him see that. If he's not the man for you, find someone who loves you for everything about you. I pray that the choices I made won't harm your life because they shouldn't. Follow your heart Charity, it's bound to lead you better then mine did. I hope one day you'll forgive me, until then, know I'm so sorry for the lies that hurt you and the pain I caused.  
  
This is the hardest thing I think that I've ever written. I'm sorry mom. I know that it won't account for much to you, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry. Whether you decided to be with dad or David, it's your choice. I hope you make the right one though. I wish things could have been different for us, but I know that they weren't. Maybe one day I'll return and I can be a better child and you can be the mother you know you are.  
  
I apologize to all for the pain I've caused and I wish there was some way I could make up for it. For now, know that I am safe and we're loved. ~Kay  
Pilar eagerly ripped open the letter from her eldest son and was heartbroken to find a small note.  
  
Mama, I'm sorry that I left you so soon. I know that you'll still light a candle for me and you know that one day I'll come back. I love you so much and I'm sorry to break your heart but this is just easier.  
  
Miguel, you're an idiot. You let an amazing woman slip through your fingers and lucky for me I caught her. Both her and your child are in the best of care and will be loved until the day that they die.  
  
Theresa, love is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it isn't what it seems. I hope you find what you're looking for in life and don't run over too many people to get what you want.  
  
Luis and I'm going to assume Sheridan, secrets always come out and this one hurt me more then you know. I wish you would have told me sooner and I didn't have to find out for myself. I'm not angry; I hope you two live a wonderful life together. Also, find Beth a nice mental institution. +Antonio  
And just like that they were gone. Two letters, no goodbye and they were gone. They eventually returned and stayed for a while, but they grew restless and wanted to be out on the road again, sharing adventures and falling in love.  
I honestly cannot tell you what prompted me to write this story. It was just something that I decided to sit down and type. But, I'd love to know what you think! Feed Back is appreciated and loved. 


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